Could your army family be happier, healthier or wealthier? Make this the year you take action to improve your life and boost your wellbeing. Jill Misson reports…
According to the most recent Families Continuous Attitude Survey, only 47 per cent of service families are satisfied with their quality of life. It’s a sobering thought that less than half of our community feels content.
Becky Wakefield from the Army Welfare Service (AWS) says: “The transient nature of service life can feel like an absolute whirlwind; it’s chaotic and ever changing, from frequent relocations to long separations.
“It’s a never-ending cycle which can be exciting for some but absolutely exhausting for others. The strength behind this turbulence, in most cases, is the partner of the serving person – the one who consistently provides that stability, creativity, all with a real ‘can do’ attitude.
“However, these enduring stressors can lead to anxiety, depression or burnout if not addressed. It’s vital for partners to take care of their emotional wellbeing in order to build resilience, enabling them to navigate through these challenges with relative ease and also role modelling positive coping strategies for their children.”
Army Welfare Workers are trained to work with individuals and couples to open up conversations that explore stressors and identify life goals. Sessions can be face-to-face in a local consulting room, within the home or remotely via telephone or video call.
Looking after wellbeing
Emotional wellbeing practitioner Katie Jones (facebook.com/katiejonesewp) is a military spouse and mum based in Larkhill, Wiltshire, who uses drawing, talking and sand play therapy with her younger clients. She says: “I have always been passionate about empowering children, helping them develop the emotional tools they need to thrive. Recently, I’ve expanded my focus to work with adults, offering them a space to explore emotions they may have suppressed for years.”
Katie feels strongly that caring for your mental health is an investment in yourself and your future. She recommends regular self-care: “Schedule uninterrupted ‘me-time’, whether it’s a peaceful bath, reading a book or simply taking a quiet moment.
“You cannot pour from an empty cup, and taking care of yourself allows you to show up as the best version of yourself for others.”
Amelia Lockey from The 21/90 Club (the21-90club. com) is a military spouse and mum who qualified as a gym instructor and personal trainer. She runs child-friendly boot camp sessions for all abilities in Bovington, Dorset.
Amelia says: “It’s the best feeling knowing I’m changing people’s lives and seeing the smiles on their faces when they tell me they’re fitting into smaller clothes or noticing muscles they never knew they had.
“Exercising releases endorphins which reduce stress and improve your sense of wellbeing. The biggest step is signing up, but I bet that once you start, you won’t look back.”
Money worries
Your household finances can have a negative impact on your family’s quality of life if you can’t afford treats and holidays or are worried about paying bills. AFF Money & Allowances Specialist Claire Hallam says: “AFF ran a tri-service survey with the other families federations in September 2024 to understand more about how families feel about their financial situation. The survey shows 48 per cent of army families have seen their personal debts increase in the last 12 months. It’s important to know that there are many organisations that offer free and confidential debt support.”
Find out more on page 33 including advice from Moneyhelper and the role of unit admin teams.
The financial pressure on families can be eased by partners being able to work. However, AFF’s 2024 employment survey found that military life makes finding a job challenging and acts as a barrier to a fulfilling career.
Explore education
Nevertheless, it’s still worth investing in your skills and increasing your job prospects by exploring opportunities for education. AFF Employment & Training Specialist Lucy Ritchie says that embarking on a new course can build your confidence and morale while providing motivation and a sense of direction: “Local courses can help you connect with other people in your area so take small steps like trying out a short course at your local library or college to see how learning fits around your life.”
There is a course finder from the National Careers Service to help you find local training opportunities, or if you are in Scotland, try the Scottish Wider Access Programme. Free and discounted courses are also available on Forces Families Jobs.
The Open University (OU) has more than 55 years of experience delivering supported, distance learning. You can study from anywhere, even if you are posted overseas. Business Development Manager Viki Little says: “The OU is known for being supportive of the unique challenges that military families face, such as deployments or relocations. Where possible, there is additional support with assignment deadlines and many courses have end of module assessments, which are submitted online, rather than requiring attendance at formal examination centres. Prior qualifications are not needed for most courses.
“Tuition fees are typically lower than traditional universities and the ability to study while working makes it easier to manage finances. Many military families may qualify for financial support through scholarships or other specific funding options.”
If you’re nervous about going back to learning then the OU’s free learning platform, OpenLearn, contains thousands of free courses and resources to refresh or develop your study skills.
Language courses are useful for those heading overseas or for non-native speakers to improve their English. AFF Foreign and Commonwealth Specialist Katherine Houlston says: “Although many families already speak English when they come to the UK and most have to pass an English language test, there are some who find it difficult to socialise or seek help outside of their community due to the language barrier. It is possible to find free English language courses in many areas, for example through Wiltshire Council’s Family and Community Learning service.”
Venturing into volunteering
Volunteering can help to get you job-ready, so it’s worth exploring opportunities wherever you are in the world. Lucy Ritchie says: “It is a fantastic way to be involved in the local community and looks great on your CV too. It gives you the chance to practise important skills used in the workplace, such as teamwork, communication, problem solving, project planning, task management and organisation. Giving to others can also improve your quality of life and self-esteem. It can help to maintain your mental and physical health and reduce stress, combat depression, keep you mentally stimulated and provide a sense of purpose.” AWS has a comprehensive induction and training programme to support volunteers.
For spouses and partners in Northern Ireland, the Families Employment Support Officer, based in Lisburn, can offer advice and coaching and help to update and ‘civilianise’ your CV. They can connect you with forces-friendly UK employers who offer home-based working.
Hang out at a hub
If you’re already working or studying remotely but finding the experience lonely, then the Military Co-working Network offers hubs across the UK and one in Cyprus.
Olivia Bolton, who uses the Bulford hub, says: “It has been a lifeline for me. I was cut off from my normal work environment and living in a place where I knew few people, so it has been a great way to connect with people.”
Another spouse, Katyia Johnson, who uses the hub at Bovington, says: “I have rediscovered myself and feel so much happier. My social life is better and my quality of life has improved.”
Adventurous activities
An adventure further afield could be what you need to feel refreshed and energised. Forces Wives Challenge (FWC) offers activities including walks, rock climbing, open water swimming, horseriding, sailing and skiing.
Founder Heather Sharp, an army veteran and spouse, says: “Our mission is to create a safe, encouraging environment where stepping outside of your comfort zone feels achievable. For some, leaping out of a plane or abseiling off a cliff may feel exhilarating, while delivering a presentation or walking into a crowded room might spark a sense of dread.
“The key is recognising that discomfort often signals an opportunity to grow. Growth begins at the edge of your comfort zone and we empower individuals to explore that edge, discovering their full potential and achieving what once seemed impossible.”
Army spouse Tor Reynolds, who joined FWC to go wilderness canoeing in Sweden, says: “Learning survival skills really excited me. We learned about fishing, foraging for wild berries and chopping down dead trees to create rafts, but I also learnt that we have too much stuff in our lives and we really don’t need much to be comfortable.
“I was craving a detox from my phone and it was incredibly liberating to have a break from tech for the entire week. It helped me to live in the moment and have time to really think about what was important in life.”
It’s never too late to make a resolution, whatever the time of year, so why not take stock of your life and decide what needs to change?