A blog from Army&You’s summer 2025 edition by Ellen Owusu.
Are you a military spouse who is working hard to have a thriving career, and there is no doubt that the next relocation will affect your professional advancement? Do you feel frustrated and resentful whenever you have to move?
Even if you opt not to relocate, the responsibilities of parenting and managing the household fall squarely on your shoulders. Marriage by itself can be challenging, but throw the military into the equation and the challenges compound! Separations are common occurrences.
Often there is an empty seat at the dinner table, parenting is often unbalanced and packing and moving frequently become the norm.
Being a military spouse is a unique role that not everyone can fulfil. It requires a special person to take on the responsibilities that come with it.
Our number one role is to be a supportive spouse, and that means taking on multiple roles such as that of two parents, peacemaker, home organiser, cheerleader and counsellor, among others. No matter how strong you are, the role demands you to be the soldier’s soldier!
It all starts with cultivating the right mindset. Having the right mental attitude is crucial to fulfilling your role as a supportive spouse and leading a fulfilling life.
Here’s a perspective that may not be popular: you must understand and accept that the military comes first. Failing to understand and accept this reality can lead to ongoing struggles and sometimes unhappiness.
Therefore, it’s imperative to train your mind to think positively, enabling you to handle situations where your serving spouse may be unavailable because of work commitments without becoming upset or emotional.
As a military spouse, I’ve learnt not to let my circumstances define me. Instead of dwelling on missed opportunities or resenting my career status, I choose to concentrate on how I can make the best of every single situation.
To family and friends, I urge you to make the effort to visit your military families and stay in touch. Understand that it can be challenging for them to travel and visit you, particularly when the serving spouse is away on duty.
Your visits not only provide much-needed companionship and comfort, but also serve as a reminder that they are not alone in their journey.
While it may be impossible to have everything we desire, we can make the most of every situation that comes our way.
Whether we’re confronted with another relocation, or any other challenge life throws at us, it’s essential to reclaim control of our mindset and begin living the life we desire.
We live once, so let’s make every moment count with enthusiasm and optimism.