A blog from Army&You’s spring 2025 edition by Gemma Antcliffe
Undergoing IVF is challenging, but for military families, it comes with unique obstacles. Frequent relocations and deployments mean that even deeply personal experiences like fertility treatment are affected by circumstances beyond your control – I know this first-hand.
In 2016, while my husband was stationed in York, we began our first round of IVF. It was emotionally draining, but we were lucky. We had enough viable embryos for one to be transferred straight away, whilst the other ones were stored. In June 2017 we welcomed our daughter, Harriet. However, the thought of having to go through IVF again to complete our family weighed heavily on me.
When Harriet was 14 months old, we decided to try again. By then we had moved to Hertfordshire, and I had to travel to Leeds for treatment with our stored embryos. Over five months, I endured long drives, coping with two failed rounds of private IVF and dealing with the demands of a toddler while my husband worked long hours. The emotional and physical toll was immense.
Relief came when my husband was posted to Ripon, closer to Leeds. But shortly after moving, he was deployed to Iraq for six months. With my embryos still in Leeds, I chose to continue treatment alone. A major hurdle was the daily progesterone injections needed after the embryo transfer, which had to be administered by someone else. I didn’t know anyone well enough to ask, and local medical services couldn’t help. That’s when Lucy Fox, the wife of a sergeant from my husband’s regiment and in the final stages of her GP training, stepped forward. Despite her own busy life, she came to my house every evening for 12 weeks to administer the injections.
Whilst my husband was deployed, I had our final viable embryo transferred. To our joy, it resulted in the birth of our second daughter, Beatrice, in April 2020.
Military life added layers of complexity to our IVF journey, but it also revealed the strength of the military community. Support from people like Lucy made the difficult times bearable, and despite the struggles, it taught me the value of resilience and kindness. Though my husband wasn’t physically present for much of the process, the experience deepened my appreciation for the community that helped carry me through.
Gemma helps to support women navigating the emotional challenges of fertility treatment. See gemmaantcliffe-counselling.co.uk