For many servicemen and women, making the transition out of the military isn’t a case of returning to civvy street – it’s entering civilian life for the first time as an adult. And it brings with it the potential for isolation and loneliness in an unfamiliar world.
Dereck Hardman, director of Armed Forces and Veterans Breakfast Clubs (AFVBCs), explained: “Civilian life is alien to most; the military have different ethics, ideology, and even their language sets them apart.
Period of mourning
“I actually went through a long period I would compare to mourning when I left. I would often dream I was back in and then wake up as a civilian, which I found very difficult to cope with, and very occasionally it still happens to me now, although I have dealt very much more easily with my own mental health since I started the AFVBCs.”
In 2017, research commissioned by SSAFA revealed 41 per cent of veterans felt lonely or isolated at some point after leaving the services and 27 per cent said they had experienced suicidal thoughts.
Growing concept
The concept, which started as a meeting in a garage in Hull, has grown to around 500 clubs worldwide over the past decade – all with the aim of tackling social isolation, which is a major factor in veterans’ poor mental health.
“Most veterans feel they are ‘conditioned’ for service during their basic training, when they are still at an impressionable age – most join straight from school – and this conditioning is reinforced throughout their service career, so they are fundamentally changed for the rest of their lives when they leave,” said Dereck. “I know I am.
“Returning to civilian life is a misnomer, most enter civilian life for the first time as an adult, many in their late twenties, early thirties, or after a full service career, often with little more experience of living within society than the average school-leaver.
“Many say that when they walk out of the gates for the last time, they feel abandoned. Many of those surrounded by close family and friends still have feelings of isolation, simply because they feel different from those around them and find it difficult to discuss their experiences with those who have no concept of what they are discussing, believing they also run the risk of being judged.”
Staying connected
The breakfast clubs address isolation by putting people back into a pseudo-military environment with others who talk the same language. And it’s not just veterans – a growing number of serving personnel are joining in.
“AFVBCs offer an opportunity for vets to stay connected to their military psyche, be part of the military ‘family’ they lost, ending their isolation,” Dereck added. “I hope in the future we can develop more connections with serving military units, something which is already happening sporadically, so new leavers do not feel as if their military family have turned their backs on them.”
The clubs are free to join. Members simply pay for their breakfast. To find a local club, visit afvbc.world