A blog from Army&You’s autumn edition by Laura Gobey
My husband and I had been trying to conceive since November 2024 and every month that went past felt like our dream was getting further away.
But on the 6 May of this year I found out I was pregnant. I FaceTimed my partner, who was due to be away with work on and off for a month, to let him know and we were both very happy.
I noticed some worrying symptoms, so went for a scan at the Early Pregnancy Unit. I was told it was a pregnancy of ‘unknown location’, meaning they couldn’t find the pregnancy. They did an HCG test as they said it could have just been too early.
I couldn’t call my husband, so I had to message him to tell him. I went into the scan room alone and when they left to let me get dressed, I just stood there crying. Having him away when I needed him was really tough, but that is just army life.
He returned that evening and was due to go away again a few weeks later. During the week I had three blood tests and his chain of command let him come with me to them all. We also went to A&E as I was in a lot of pain on my left side, but it seemed to ease so I was sent home.
On the 19 May the hospital asked me to come back to the Early Pregnancy Unit for a repeat scan. My husband explained the circumstances to his chain of command, and with zero hesitation, they said he could go with me. The appointment was at noon.
During the scan they discovered I had an ectopic pregnancy in my left fallopian tube, which was rupturing and needed emergency surgery. By 2.30pm I was in surgery. We had to arrange care for our dog, Teddy, and being a military family living away from friends and family, the only option was the patch Facebook group.
I put a post up and quickly I had ladies who had never met me offering to have him for the day. I know it can feel like there is a lack of community nowadays, but it showed that when we really need it, there are still people ready to offer support.
My husband’s chain of command gave him two weeks of compassionate leave, which was a saving grace. When he returned to work, he felt comfortable speaking to people about the experience and his colleagues checked in on him.
This experience will always sit with us. It has been emotionally difficult but we have been well supported, not only by our families, but by the army and other army families.